Posted in Life in your forties, Perimenopause, Womanhood, writing

The Funny Comeback Queen: A Survival Guide for the Verbally Witty

Some people meditate.

Some people journal.

And some of us survive awkward conversations by deploying a perfectly timed comeback and walking away like a movie character who doesn’t look back at explosions.

Welcome. You’ve found your people.

Being a Comeback Queen isn’t about being cruel. It’s about reclaiming your voice when someone hands you nonsense wrapped in confidence. It’s about humor as armor, wit as self-defense, and knowing when a well-placed sentence can end a conversation faster than an emergency exit.

The Anatomy of a Perfect Comeback

A good comeback isn’t loud. It’s precise.

It usually contains:

Timing so sharp it could cut glass A calm face that says I said what I said Just enough humor to make everyone else laugh while the target blinks slowly in confusion

Bonus points if you walk away immediately after delivering it. The exit is part of the magic.

Why Funny Works Better Than Mean

Mean gets attention for five seconds. Funny gets remembered forever.

Humor disarms people. It lets you hold your boundaries without becoming the villain in someone else’s story. You’re not fighting, you’re just narrating reality with better dialogue.

And honestly? Life is too short not to enjoy the moment when someone realizes they underestimated you.

Signs You Might Be a Comeback Queen

You think of the perfect response immediately … not three hours later in the shower. Your friends text you screenshots asking, “What should I say back?” You’ve ended at least one conversation with a single sentence and a smile. You believe sarcasm is a love language.

The Victory Dance Is Mandatory

When a comeback lands perfectly, something ancient awakens. You don’t even mean to celebrate, but suddenly you’re dancing in your kitchen, grinning at nothing, replaying the moment like a highlight reel.

That little dance? That’s not arrogance. That’s relief. That’s your nervous system saying, we handled that beautifully.

The Golden Rule of the Comeback Queen

Use your wit to protect your peace, not destroy someone else’s.

The goal isn’t to win every argument. The goal is to leave the conversation feeling like yourself again.

Sometimes the strongest response is silence.

But when the moment calls for it …

Deliver the line.

Hold eye contact.

Exit stage left.

And maybe dance a little on the way out.

Posted in adhd in women, book editor, Menopause, mental-health, Perimenopause, Womanhood

Perimenopause Isn’t a Phase … It’s a Plot Twist

Nobody warned me perimenopause was going to feel like:

•being too hot and too cold at the same time

•crying because a commercial was “too meaningful”

•rage-cleaning the kitchen like I’m in an action movie

•forgetting why I walked into a room … while also remembering every embarrassing thing I’ve ever done since birth

It’s like my hormones are holding a meeting without me, and every decision is chaos.

And sure, you can slap a “self-care” sticker on it. But sometimes the self-care is just not fighting a stranger in the grocery store because they breathed near you.

What Perimenopause Really Feels Like

Some days it’s subtle … a little more tired, a little more irritable. Other days it’s like my body wakes up and chooses a random setting from the control panel of hell:

Mood: fragile raccoon with a grudge

Sleep: never heard of her

Memory: buffering … buffering … gone

Body temp: haunted thermostat

Patience: expired in 2009

And the hardest part isn’t even the symptoms.

It’s the way the world acts like you’re supposed to keep functioning at full capacity while your hormones are out here playing Jenga with your nervous system.

“Am I Crazy?” No. You’re Becoming a New Version of You.

Let me say this clearly …

You’re not “crazy.”

You’re not “too much.”

You’re not “losing it.”

You’re in a biological plot twist.

Your body is doing a huge internal renovation and nobody handed you the manual. Meanwhile, you still have to show up for life like nothing is happening.

So if you’ve been feeling unlike yourself lately, if your emotions are louder, your energy is lower, your tolerance for nonsense is nonexistent …

That’s not a character flaw.

That’s hormones, stress, sleep disruption, and your nervous system waving a little white flag.

Closing

So here’s your reminder (and mine)

You’re not broken. You’re evolving. And if today all you can do is drink water, take your vitamins, and not commit a felony …

That counts. 💅