Tag: self care

Posted in Life in your forties, mental-health, self care, Womanhood

Easy-Peasy Self-Care for Busy Women with ADHD, Depression, and Anxiety

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Self-care advice often sounds like it was written for someone with unlimited energy, time, money, and motivation.

If you’re living with ADHD, depression, anxiety … or all three at once, that kind of advice can feel impossible. Sometimes even basic things feel heavy. Sometimes just getting through the day is the achievement.

This is self-care for real life.

No perfection. No hustle. No shame.

Lower the Bar. On Purpose.

Self-care doesn’t need to be impressive.

It doesn’t need to be aesthetic.

It doesn’t need to “fix” everything.

If something helps even a little… it counts.

Lowering the bar isn’t giving up. It’s meeting yourself where you are and choosing kindness instead of pressure.

If You Can’t Get Out of Bed, That’s Okay

Some days, getting out of bed feels like climbing a mountain. On those days, self-care can look like staying put and doing one tiny thing:

• sipping water

• taking your meds

• stretching your toes

• opening a window

That’s not nothing. That’s care.

Pair Care with Dopamine

ADHD brains work better with rewards, not willpower. One of the easiest ways to make self-care doable is to pair it with something you already enjoy.

Try this:

• coffee = meds

• shower = favorite song

• skincare = podcast or comfort video

If you don’t do it perfectly, that’s fine. If you skip it entirely, that’s fine too. There is no punishment system here.

Halfway Is Enough

You do not have to finish the whole task.

• fold some laundry

• wash only the forks

• clean for two minutes

Half done is not failure.

Half done is progress.

Make Life Ridiculously Easy

You’re not lazy. You’re tired. You’re overstimulated. You’re adapting.

Make things easier on purpose:

• keep water next to you

• keep snacks where you sit

• put a trash can by the bed

Convenience isn’t cheating. Convenience is self-care.

Regulate the Body First

When anxiety spikes, logic usually doesn’t help right away. Your nervous system needs calming before your thoughts can follow.

Try grounding through your senses:

• cold water on your wrists

• pet something furry

• wrap yourself in a heavy blanket

• hold something textured

Calm the body first. The brain will catch up later.

One Tiny Promise a Day

Forget the overwhelming to-do list.

Choose one small promise you know you can keep.

One task. One moment. One gentle win.

Momentum grows from success, not pressure.

Rest Without Earning It

You do not have to be productive to deserve rest.

Rest is not a reward.

Rest is maintenance.

You’re allowed to stop. You’re allowed to lie down. You’re allowed to breathe without justifying it.

A Reminder You Might Need Today

You are not lazy.

You are not broken.

You are tired, overstimulated, and still trying.

And that matters more than you think.

Posted in adhd in women, book editor, Menopause, mental-health, Perimenopause, Womanhood

Perimenopause Isn’t a Phase … It’s a Plot Twist

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Nobody warned me perimenopause was going to feel like:

•being too hot and too cold at the same time

•crying because a commercial was “too meaningful”

•rage-cleaning the kitchen like I’m in an action movie

•forgetting why I walked into a room … while also remembering every embarrassing thing I’ve ever done since birth

It’s like my hormones are holding a meeting without me, and every decision is chaos.

And sure, you can slap a “self-care” sticker on it. But sometimes the self-care is just not fighting a stranger in the grocery store because they breathed near you.

What Perimenopause Really Feels Like

Some days it’s subtle … a little more tired, a little more irritable. Other days it’s like my body wakes up and chooses a random setting from the control panel of hell:

Mood: fragile raccoon with a grudge

Sleep: never heard of her

Memory: buffering … buffering … gone

Body temp: haunted thermostat

Patience: expired in 2009

And the hardest part isn’t even the symptoms.

It’s the way the world acts like you’re supposed to keep functioning at full capacity while your hormones are out here playing Jenga with your nervous system.

“Am I Crazy?” No. You’re Becoming a New Version of You.

Let me say this clearly …

You’re not “crazy.”

You’re not “too much.”

You’re not “losing it.”

You’re in a biological plot twist.

Your body is doing a huge internal renovation and nobody handed you the manual. Meanwhile, you still have to show up for life like nothing is happening.

So if you’ve been feeling unlike yourself lately, if your emotions are louder, your energy is lower, your tolerance for nonsense is nonexistent …

That’s not a character flaw.

That’s hormones, stress, sleep disruption, and your nervous system waving a little white flag.

Closing

So here’s your reminder (and mine)

You’re not broken. You’re evolving. And if today all you can do is drink water, take your vitamins, and not commit a felony …

That counts. 💅

Posted in book editor, mental-health

Stop Calling Me Strong: I’m Tired, Babe

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You ever notice how “strong” always sounds like a compliment, but somehow ends up feeling like a curse?

Like … thanks, I guess?

But what you really mean is:

“I know life keeps sucker punching you, but I fully expect you to eat your feelings, smile pretty, and keep carrying the weight of everyone else’s emotional baggage, in heels, with lashes on … while gaslit into thinking you should be grateful for the resilience.”

Yeah. No.

Let’s talk about it.

Being “strong” became my identity. And then it became my prison.

I was the girl who handled everything. Independent. Capable. “So mature for her age.”

The problem?

No one thought to help me. They just assumed I’d figure it out.

Being the strong one means people stop asking if you’re okay.

They assume you always are.

Even when you’re not.

Even when you’re breaking.

And if you do crack under pressure?

They look at you like you’ve betrayed them.

Like the mascot of emotional survival wasn’t supposed to have human limits.

Strength is not silence. It’s not self-sacrifice. It’s not smiling through trauma.

I am tired of being called strong as a way to avoid supporting me.

I’m not a superhero. I’m not a martyr.

I’m a woman who has survived shit she shouldn’t have had to.

And I’m exhausted.

What if I want to be soft today?

What if I need to fall apart?

What if I just want to scream-cry into a void and then take a nap while someone else makes the damn decisions?

That doesn’t make me weak.

That makes me human.

So here’s your permission slip:

You don’t have to perform strength to be worthy. You can cry, rage, rest, and ask for help. You can set that “strong woman” cape down and say: “I’m not doing it all today. Try someone else.”

Because strong isn’t the goal.

Alive is.

Peaceful is.

Unbothered, hydrated, and left the hell alone is.

And that, babe?

That’s the kind of power no one can take from you.

Posted in mental-health, writing

Self-Care Isn’t Bubble Baths—It’s Survival Magic

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Section 1: What Self-Care Really Looks Like

Forget the aesthetic Instagram posts.

Self-care can look like:

Crying in the shower because you finally let yourself feel it. Cancelling plans because burnout is whispering, “Please.” Setting a boundary and not over-explaining it. Making a to-do list that just says “wake up + survive.”

And yes, sometimes it is curling up with a book and a face mask.

But real self-care is less about pretty and more about permission.

Section 2: The Self-Care We Don’t Talk About Enough

Here’s the stuff we often skip:

Mental care: Going to therapy, taking your meds, journaling your rage instead of texting your ex. Emotional care: Letting yourself be soft. Or angry. Or silent. Digital care: Muting, blocking, deleting—and walking away from screens when they start screaming instead of soothing. Social care: Choosing people who don’t make you question your worth.

Section 3: A Self-Care Survival Kit (That Doesn’t Cost Money)

A playlist that makes you feel like a goddess in a hoodie 3 trusted people who let you be unfiltered A tiny ritual: morning coffee, evening stretch, whispering “I’m doing my best” to yourself in the mirror Saying “no” like it’s a full sentence (because it is)

Section 4: Final Reminder

You don’t owe anyone your sparkle when you’re just trying to hold it together.

Self-care isn’t selfish.

It’s how you stay alive in a world that keeps demanding more.

So light the damn candle, but also protect your peace like it’s sacred.

Because it is.

And so are you.

Posted in book editor, mental-health

Mentally, I’m Here

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Mentally, I’m here.

On a creaky porch beside a quiet river. Wrapped in the scent of pine and coffee. My phone’s nowhere in sight, and the only sound is pages turning and the occasional bird judging me for crying over fictional characters again.

The world slows down in places like this. It breathes softer. And so do I.

This is my fantasy: a good book, a hot mug, and a quiet escape from the chaos. No expectations, no deadlines, just stories and stillness.

Because sometimes healing looks like hiding.

And sometimes rest looks like reading.

What does rest look like to you? Where are you mentally today?

Posted in book editor

Anxious, But Still Hot: Coping with Anxiety Without Losing Your Damn Mind

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A guide for the overthinkers, panic-scrollers, and “what if” pros among us.

Let’s be honest: anxiety is exhausting. It’s like your brain installed a full-time alarm system that goes off at the worst possible moments. Grocery store? Ring, ring. Trying to relax on the couch? Sirens. Three a.m. and you suddenly remember that awkward thing you said in 2009? DEFCON 1.

If you’re a woman with anxiety, you’ve probably been told to “just calm down” more times than you’ve had coffee … and that’s saying something.

But you don’t need toxic positivity. You need tools. You need support. And maybe you need a nap. (Honestly, same.)

So here’s a non-judgy list of coping strategies that can help when your brain is doing its absolute most:

🌳 1. Go Outside (Yes, Like … Literally)

We’re talking fresh air, grass, sky, real sunlight. Nature slaps in the best way. You don’t have to go full wilderness girl—just sit on your porch, touch a leaf, and breathe for a damn second.

Bonus points: walking. Moving your body gently can lower cortisol and help that nervous energy go somewhere other than your jaw.

📵 2. Put Your Phone Down (We Love You, But Stop Scrolling)

Doomscrolling is anxiety’s favorite snack. If you’re spiraling after reading 300 posts about how the world is ending, it might be time to log out and touch some bark.

Instead, try:

Reading a real book (remember those?) Journaling it out Staring at a wall while you overthink in peace (we’ve all been there)

🧘‍♀️ 3. Grounding Techniques (aka Reality Checks for Anxious Brains)

When your brain starts spinning out, try the 5-4-3-2-1 method:

5 things you can see

4 things you can touch

3 things you can hear

2 things you can smell

1 thing you can taste

Or—my personal favorite—name five ridiculous things that aren’t your problem today. (The economy. Mercury in retrograde. Susan from accounting.)

☕ 4. Caffeine Check

This one might hurt: Too much coffee can make your anxiety worse. Rude, but true. If you’ve had 3 lattes and your heart’s doing the Macarena, maybe switch to water. Or tea. Or yell into a pillow. It’s all valid.

🤝 5. Connect With Someone (Even if It’s Just a Meme Exchange)

Because you deserve support, not just self-sufficiency.

Anxiety loves isolation. But connection—even tiny, silly, low-pressure connection—can remind you you’re not alone in the madness. Text a friend. Voice note someone. Send a meme. Say “I’m not okay” and let someone hold space for that.

💖 6. Let Yourself Off the Hook

You don’t have to do all the things. You don’t have to be “productive.” You don’t need to justify rest. Sometimes the bravest, most badass thing you can do is nothing, on purpose.

Your worth isn’t measured by how well you hide your anxiety.

Final Word: You’re Not Broken. You’re a Human with a Nervous System.

Anxiety isn’t a flaw. It’s a response. And you are not weak, dramatic, or “too much.” You’re carrying more than most people know—and still showing up.

Take a deep breath. Take your meds if you have them. Take a nap if you need one. You’re doing better than you think.

If this blog resonated with you, you should read You Were Never Broken.

Posted in adhd in women, book editor, Life in your forties

ADHD in Women, Or Why My Brain Is a Computer with 87 Tabs Open, All Buffering

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I came. I saw. I forgot what I was doing and cried in my car.

If you’re a woman who’s ever put your phone down mid-text and never found it again (until it rang from inside the fridge) welcome. You might have ADHD. Or what I like to call: Hot Mess Brain with Bonus Features.

We’re not talking about the bouncing-off-the-walls kid stereotype. No, no. Female ADHD is the ✨limited edition✨ adult version, complete with:

Olympic-level procrastination, 3,000 unfinished projects, emotional breakdowns because your sock feels weird, and a deep, soul-crushing shame spiral because someone asked you to “just make a list.”

ADHD in Women: The Sneaky Ninja Edition

When we were little, people didn’t notice. We weren’t “bad.” We were weirdly talkative, always doodling, and somehow acing tests but still losing our backpack inside of our own house.

Instead of getting diagnosed, we got called:

“So creative!”

“Such a chatterbox!”

“A little dramatic, don’t you think?”

Spoiler alert: We weren’t dramatic. We were literally having a full-blown executive function meltdown because we had three assignments, zero clue where our planner went, and the overwhelming urge to alphabetize our nail polish instead of doing any of it.

Adulthood Hit Different

Fast forward to adulthood, and now you’re:

Crying over a dirty dish. Forgetting your kid’s field trip form (again). Hyperfocusing on a new hobby you’ll abandon in six days. Paralyzed by an email that’s been sitting in drafts since the Bush administration.

And everyone around you is like, “Just be more organized!”

Girl. I tried to be organized. I bought six planners. I even color-coded them. You know where they are? Under my bed. Next to the dumbbells I swore I’d use during my “fitness era.”

You’re Not Lazy, Your Brain Just Thinks It’s in a DJ Booth

ADHD brains love dopamine. We crave stimulation. That’s why we can’t clean our room … unless we trick ourselves into a 12-hour cleaning montage with music, snacks, and existential dread.

Our emotions? Turned up to 11. We cry at dog videos, spiral after one passive-aggressive text, and feel personally attacked by to-do lists.

We also love:

Interrupting people (sorry, I just had a THOUGHT and I must SHARE IT), re-reading the same sentence 8 times and still not knowing what it said, starting a new life plan at 2:34 a.m. and forgetting it by morning.

Coping Mechanisms? I’ve Got Memes and Magic

Here’s how I survive:

Use timers like I’m defusing a bomb. Pretend I’m on a reality show called “Will She Remember to Eat?” Surround myself with people who don’t judge me for sending 12 chaotic texts in a row because I forgot what I was saying halfway through. Forgive myself when my brain does That Thing™ again.

Final Thoughts (Before I Forget Them)

ADHD in women is real. It’s messy. It’s misunderstood. And it’s often missed for YEARS.

But here’s the deal: You’re not broken. You’re brilliant, hilarious, compassionate, and operating on a whole different frequency.

One minute you’re crying in the grocery store, the next you’re writing a novel in one sitting. That’s not a flaw—it’s your sparkle.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to go finish that thing I started six days ago … or start something new entirely. Who knows? ADHD is an adventure.

If you relate to this blog post, you should pick up You Were Never Broken.